


A First for Everything

by noobcake



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Community: masskink, F/M, Mass Effect 2, Originally Posted on LiveJournal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-27
Updated: 2014-12-27
Packaged: 2018-03-03 18:53:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2864981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noobcake/pseuds/noobcake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shepard doesn't let him take the shot. Things change.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A First for Everything

 

Shepard sits in the quiet of her room, looking but not looking at the model ships in her display case. The muted burbling of the fish tank behind her, the faint groan of the Normandy in motion, these are her companions.

* * *

 

_Dammit, Shepard! If he moves, I'm taking the shot!_

She can recall Garrus' exact phrasing, his exact intonation when he said those words on the Citadel. The defiance in his voice rang directly in her ear.

She'd been angry.

She'd ignored him.

She hadn't let him take the shot.

Immediately after, he'd seemed to agree with her that letting Sidonis live was the right thing. Yet when she found him later in the main battery, everything was wrong. He sat on his cot with his head in his hands, and didn't stand or report when she entered. He didn't look her in the eye. His shoulders shook silently.

"Garrus?"

Nothing.

"Garrus. Is this about Sidonis? Do you want to talk?"

"I have--" he started, and his voice cracked from one flanged tone into two notes, then a hiccup. He began again. "Can it wait? I'm in the middle of some calibrations."

Shepard moved quickly over to his side, dropping to a knee to catch the turian's eye, but he did not respond. "Garrus, I'm sorry! I...I just didn't want you to do something you'd regret! I didn't want you to change because of what happened on Omega. Can you understand that?"

A shudder ran the length of his body, and his shoulders heaved. "Putting this right was the one thing keeping me..." he trailed off for a moment, taking a deep breath. "I'd already changed, Shepard, and this was all I had."

She'd never seen him so defeated, not even when she found him on Omega, and she didn't know what to do, so she apologized again. "I'm so sorry. What can I do to make it up to you?"

He removed his hands from his face and looked at her, then, and she almost didn't recognize him. There was no fire in his expression. No questions, no defiance, none of the old Garrus, and this new one, well, it frightened her. It frightened her because there was simply nothing there, and she knew that look. She'd seen it before, in the mirror.

"I have some calibrations to do, Commander," he said tonelessly, standing and walking to his console with the gait of a tired old man. "I'll be here if you need me."

He follows her orders now. Obeys her every command. But gone are the jokes about fighting through classy antique shops, the probing questions, the running commentary. He's just a turian now. Her creature, but not her friend, not her comrade. Definitely not her lover, as she'd once secretly hoped he'd be.

* * *

 

In her quiet cabin, hours before the Normandy is due to pass through the Omega-4 Relay, she understands: this is the first time Commander Shepard, Butcher of Torfan, has ever truly killed a man.

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted on the Mass Effect Kink Meme here: http://masseffectkink.livejournal.com/2320.html?thread=4251152#t4251152.


End file.
